#this was staring at me pleadingly from the bottom of my draft | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

imtryingmybeskar · 3 years ago

Text

Part 14 of Fugitive. Quite a bit of deviance from what has gone before. Much plot, many darkness.

18+, 12k words.

"Cyar'ika...please..." A cruel smile curved your lips as you heard the Mandalorian's plaintive cries. They soothed your tormented soul like a balm after so many years of being denied. "You cannot do this. Please. Listen to me." The seemingly sourceless orange light splayed across his beskar like an oil slick fire.

You frowned and advanced on him, hissing. "I cannot? You do not tell me what I can and cannot do." As you reached him, he fell to his knees, the T shape of his visor fixed on your face.

"Please do not make me do this, cyar'ika," he begged as you heard the click of his blaster cocking.

"You think you'll...what? Shoot me? Kill me?" your words were icily mocking as you tore the blaster from his grasp and hurled it away without ever laying a finger on it. "You cannot kill me. You cannot harm me. As you say, I am your beloved. You love me." As you spoke you lifted the helmet from his head and dropped it on to the dusty black earth next to him as you looked down into his face. His nose and mouth were leaking blood and his lip was puffy and bruised. "As well you should," you added, bending down to stroke your hand through the hair at the back of his head and grabbing a fistful roughly. You planted a bruising kiss on his mouth and his lip split anew, the iron sweetness of him coating your own lips. His eyes were huge and staring, but his fear was being tempered with anger now. That too was as it should be.

"I love you. Not...this. Whatever this is. This is wrong." Bestowing another smile upon him, you released his hair and brought your hand around to cup his chin instead, speaking so softly and so, so dangerously.

"Wrong, Mand'alor? Are you quite sure about that?"

"I am not the-" But his denial of who he was drowned out by the gasp of pain he emitted as you flooded his mind with images. Of him sitting upon the throne in the royal palace of Mandalore, the Darksaber in one hand and his beskar spear in the other, the very picture of a warrior king. Of a war room filled with Jedi and Mandalorians alike, plotting and strategising their slaughter across the galaxy. Of legions upon legions of fanatical Mandalorians, loyal only to Din and cutting swathes through stormtroopers in a riotous orgy of blood and smoke...At this last you felt his mind rebel and struggle against yours, like a moth battering itself against a lamp. "No...," he managed to spit feebly.

"No?" you asked gently, your voice honeysweet and kindly as you withdrew from his mind and let him get his breath back. "But isn't it a glorious future? You and I working together to rid the galaxy of the vermin that plague it? I know you want to make them pay. For what they did to your child. For making you the Mand'alor in the first place. For Alzoc-" You knew what he was going to do before he did it. So predictable. His hand reached for your throat and closed around it as he stood, but you had already compensated your breathing and the gesture did little except excite you. His limbs were shaking with rage, as well as from his ordeal and you smiled sweetly at him. "You see?" you scraped out, "You do want this. We can set Mandalore aright again. Together. Husband of mine." His hand relaxed its grip a little, but his fingers were still around your neck. He swallowed as if something bitter were trying to force its way up his throat.

"The woman I married would never say such things, never force me to see such things. You are not my riduur." And suddenly his other blaster was in his left hand and pointing directly between your eyes.

You snarled at him, an animalistic noise of purest hatred, "You are weak, Mandalorian. You have betrayed your Creed countless times. And I know that you could never-" Suddenly the world went white, then dark, and you knew nothing more.

***

Seventy two hours earlier

***

"Din, you have to stop!" You were desperately trying not to giggle and encourage his behaviour. "I told you, either I do the ritual here or I go to my room in the Academy alone and do it."

"But mesh'la, how can I concentrate on anything else with you like this?" he said pleadingly as he gathered you into his arms.

"Like what?" you asked innocently, even though you knew perfectly well what. After you had taken shelter in the ship, you had set your robe and clothes to dry and sought out some fresh ones. Apparently you had gotten behind on laundry and had very little that was clean besides underwear, so had asked Din to borrow a spare undershirt and he had obliged. It wasn't often that you wore his clothes, but you loved having the scent of him so close to you all the time. The trouble was that you didn't have any clean spare trousers and now found yourself trying desperately to relax your mind and body when you could almost feel the heat of his gaze as he watched the bottom of his shirt grazing the tops of your thighs. "Would you prefer me naked?" That was the wrong thing to say. Or, possibly the right thing. Apparently the only thing more arousing to Din than you in his clothes was you out of them. He ground his erection against your stomach and kissed you.

"Always prefer you naked," he murmured against your lips.

"Are you going to make a liar out of me?" you asked, smiling. "I told Luke you made me a better Jedi. I also said we wouldn't be doing this here and yet..."

"And yet," he echoed, his nose stroking over your cheek. "Since you've already broken that promise once, would it be so terrible to do it again?"

"Absolutely," you answered. "But I can never resist you, Din Djarin. You know that."

Two hours later, you were finally sitting calmly and meditatively in front of a small bowl of water and a lit candle - the reflection of the candle upon the water helping to clear your mind and soothe your spirit. Recalling your meeting with Paz Vizsla, you went through each stage of what led to your anger at him, analysing and considering all possible angles to avoid a repeat of such behaviours in the future. At the core of it was your attachment to Din, your desire to never see him be hurt or damaged. You had to be mindful and better at managing your emotions surrounding him, else it would be increasingly easy to act that way again. The candle suddenly flickered although there was no draft that you could feel, and you could see a darkness swirl within the bowl. It...had to be a trick of the light. The bowl was white, there was nowhere that the darkness could be. Still, it was there and as you concentrated on it, you thought you heard a noise. A low level thrumming like machinery, but punctuated by the occasional voice calling, shouting in distress, screaming...

"Mesh'la?" Din's voice struck through your mind like an arrow, and his hand on your shoulder shook the dream from you instantly. "You fell asleep," he said needlessly, a smile playing about his lips. You looked down at the candle and bowl. The water was clear and ordinary, the candle not burned down by much. You couldn't have been asleep for more than twenty minutes. "Are you okay?" he asked when you didn't reply to him.

"Yes, fine. Just a strange dream. And apparently I'm more tired than I imagined." Din helped you to your feet. "Can we go back to the Academy? We need to speak with Luke again." His face took on a stony, annoyed countenance. "I know, I know. But we do have things to talk through. Not least the Council's discussion about you and I. Luke...he is a good man. Please trust me on this. And when you feel ready - if you feel ready - you can talk to me about whatever it is that has made you so...well you know." He nodded and looked into your eyes, his own softened and filling with love as he beheld your face.

"I do trust you. Of course I do. And I trust that what I need to tell you will not change us. Its just-" he swallowed thickly, "-its hard to say out loud after so long." Your arms came round his back to hold him close and you felt the understanding pass between you, strengthening you both individually and together.

Once your clothes had (mostly) dried, you got dressed and Din gave a low hum of approval when he saw that you were continuing to wear his undershirt. "You look far better in that than I do," he remarked and you kissed him happily before handing him his helmet. He held your hand on the approach back to the Academy, seeming to want to be as close to you as he could after your disagreement, even through his coverings. Just as you were about to enter through the main doors, Tolea came out to you.

"There you are," she smiled. "I've been looking all over. Luke said there is to be a "Council meeting" after the evening meal?" You could almost hear the quotation marks around 'Council Meeting'. "There's hardly a Council to speak of!" Her eyes fell to where yours and Din's hands met and she raised an eyebrow, more suggestive than questioning. You set about introducing your fiancé and your friend properly. He seemed inclined to trust her as when you gave his name as "Mando", he interjected with his real first name and held out his hand to clasp hers.

"So, a Mandalorian, hey?" she teased. "You always did have a thing for them!" Your eyes had gone wide at her words and you could feel the heat rise in your cheeks as you saw Din's helmet turn to face you in the periphery of your vision and heard what sounded like a laugh swiftly muffled by a cough.

"I did not have a "thing" for them," you spluttered indignantly. "I was just interested in the history of the Mandalorian Wars!"

"Yeah, yeah. But the armour helped, right?"

"Tolea!"

"Alright, I'll stop," she promised, her hand coming to pat your shoulder in a good-natured way. "I actually just wanted to see if you would come and spar with me? I'm a little rusty and it might be a good learning experience for the Padawans."

"I will, if you never mention the word 'Mandalorian' in front of me ever again," you joked. She bowed to you in a mockery of a solemn promise and turned away to walk you around the building to the outside exercise yard. Your cheeks were just beginning to cool when Din's faintly amused voice spoke softly to you.

"A "thing" hmmm?"

"Oh don't you start," you urged, holding up a warning finger toward him.

"Well....I can see it, that's all I'm saying." He paused briefly. "And there was that "thing" with Fett too." Apparently Tolea's hearing was excellent because at this she rounded on you, her face gleeful as you turned to Din, horrified.

"DIN!"

"Excuse me, what? Boba Fett the Bounty Hunter?! The one with the armour, yes? I just want to be clear!" Din's rumble of laughter at your face and Tolea's delight made your heart give a sudden squeeze. It had been so long since you had been with friends that you knew and trusted, and even though they were currently ribbing you mercilessly, you were so grateful to have them both in your life again. Your voice was teasing as you made your rejoinder.

"I'd be careful if I were you. You just asked me to spar and told me you were out of practice. Such a shame, what accidents can occur," you said breezily to Tolea. "As for you," you narrowed your eyes at Din and gently poked your finger at his breastplate, "Copaani mirshmure'cye, vod?!" He laughed at your meaningless threats and caught your hands before pressing his helmet to your forehead for the briefest moment.

"I should not have taught you that one," he said softly. "I mean...I beg your pardon, verd." Tolea was looking between you both, a little bemused.

"I'm going to assume you said something disgustingly private and leave it at that," she ventured.

"Close. I was threatening to smack him in the face. That's kind of Mandalorian courting, isn't it?" you teased.

"Excuse me!" he exclaimed, ruffled. "I'll show you Mandalorian courting!....That...wasn't supposed to sound like that," he added in a slightly defeated tone as both you and Tolea roared with laughter. The good natured teasing between the three of you lasted until you were almost at the exercise ground.

"Okay," Tolea breathed. "We have to be calm and act like actual adults for the children now." She tried to make her face solemn, but giggled slightly when she caught your eye as you were trying to do the same thing. "I missed you," she said as she patted your shoulder again and the warmth of your friendship sloshed between you like a tropical ocean wave. You managed to collect yourselves enough to greet the children with a modicum of decorum. Din settled himself on the edges of the training ground, a little apart from the Padawans - you assumed so as not to distract them. It worked, for the most part, although eyes would occasionally stray to where he stood, monolith-like in his size and stillness.

"As some of you may know," Tolea began, gesturing at you, "we both trained together at the Jedi Temple on Coruscant before the Empire came. We have spent many years apart, but the bonds of kinship as Jedi remain strong, as well as the bonds of friendship." She smiled fondly at the Padawans in front of her. "We would often practice our Forms with each other and train together. Hopefully, our bonds will show through there as well, despite the time apart." She took up her initial stance opposite you, and you followed her lead. As she ignited her lightsaber, you blinked in surprise.

"Yellow? That's new." Tolea smiled.

"I lost my lightsaber that night but I rebuilt it when I came here. There is an ancient Temple not too far from here. I found an old and broken lightsaber within it and was able to rescue its crystal and purify it as my own. It felt like it was meant to be mine, even more than my old one, somehow."

"We shall see how it serves you," you replied with a smile. "I'll go easy on you and spare you the double blade, for now." Tolea tutted at you, but there was warmth in her eyes. You began by slowly demonstrating various aspects of the Forms and explaining how to incorporate Force abilities within some of these aspects, but after a while the joy of training with your friend again overtook the teaching somewhat. It was as if everything else fell away and for a brief time you were both ten years old again, with so few responsibilities, delighting in your new lightsabers and your abilities. Tolea was far less rusty than she had lead you to believe and before long the sweat was running down your back. When you came to a natural break, you begged a few minutes and she gladly acquiesced. It was at this point that you noticed that the number of people observing had swelled considerably. Master Kholi had come to join you with his group of students and was looking with approval at yourself and Tolea.

"This is good to see," he commented. "I myself was never very skilled with weapons. I was a Healer at the Temple and never had much time for them. I am glad the children can learn from such as yourselves." He glanced over to Din who was holding Grogu protectively, the child's back against his chest. "I see the Mandalorian seems more inclined to stay. This too is good. I will see you both at the meeting."

Tolea and yourself set to pairing the children up according to ability. There were practice sabers for the very youngest that were little more than padded sticks and these were distributed. With Din holding tight to Grogu there was an uneven number, so Tolea herself matched with Loro. As you approached Din and Grogu, you could hear his soft words spoken toward the child.

"...know everything about how to defend yourself. We will make sure of it. You will be a great warrior one day. Like your buir." With these last words, he raised his helmet to you, and you realised he wasn't talking about himself. A surge of pride and love roared through you and as you came to Grogu and kissed his head, he reached out to be held by you a while. You took him and cradled him in your arms, so that he could continue to observe the training going on around him and stepped backward a little so that your back was resting against the right side of Din's body. His hand came discreetly to the small of your back and stroked you softly. "You were amazing, cyar'ika," he said softy. "I pity the person who gets in your way."

You beamed at his praise. "Perhaps you could teach the children too. I don't think many of them know how to handle a blaster. I'll raise it at the meeting." You turned around to him and could see his helmet tipped questioningly at you. "I don't know what the others will say, but to me it seems silly to have an expert in weaponry here and not take advantage of it. Your lessons saved my life many a time."

"Teaching children? Do you really think I'm suitable for that?"

"Absolutely. Why wouldn't you be? I had never taught children before I came here. Just...be yourself." You looked across at the training yard at the students. "See, you already have a fan," you added, amused. Alikas was watching you and Din and when she saw you looking, she waved at you, the distraction causing her opponent to be able to knock her training saber out of her hand. She scowled at him, reached her hand out to raise it from the ground and retrieve it, and redoubled her efforts in sparring.

"That one reminds me of you," said Din, and you could hear the smile on his lips through the beskar. "Fierce and unafraid to speak her mind."

"And this one," you said, planting another kiss on Grogu's head, "Reminds me of you. Stubborn and very cute." He chuckled and reached out a finger for Grogu to grasp.

"Where do I sleep tonight?" he asked softly. "And where do you?"

"I think that will depend on what is discussed later. We will have the evening meal first, and then it will be the children's bedtime." At your words, Grogu turned his head toward you with a hopeful coo, and an image came unbidden to your mind. "I'm sure there will be eggs for you, little one," you assured him.

There were indeed eggs, along with fruit and meats and bread and vegetables and a type of savoury pastry you had never had before, but you took to well. The mood at the table was jovial and light, despite the fact that Luke was nowhere to be seen. Alikas displaced you by sitting next to Din before you could this time, and she and Grogu giggled happily together as they shared in their meal. Once Grogu had eaten his fill and was merely playing with his food, Din tasked her with watching him while he gathered a plate of his own to eat. The child nodded solemnly at the request and Tolea squeezed your arm in a silent promise that she would watch over both children. Just before he left, Din took a small silver ball out of a tiny pocket on his belt. Grogu babbled a long stream of happy nonsense and reached for it, using his power to take the ball from Din's hand. Din huffed a small laugh of contentment and stroked Grogu's head softly before picking up his plate. You led Din out of the dining hall and to the right, down one of the corridors of the quadrangle to one of the classrooms where he could eat his meal in peace. After removing his helmet and sitting down with his back to the door, he attacked the food with fervour, having had nothing since breakfast and once his immediate hunger was sated, he stared around at the pale blue walls surrounding him and the windows that looked over the grassy plains.

"Why do you have such a big space for so few?" he wondered aloud.

"Partly because we are hoping that we will not be so few in the near future," you smiled at him. "But also because this structure is part of something more ancient. Certain planets have more of a connection with the Force than others. Or at least, the Force flows more freely through them. This is such a place and is one of the reasons Luke chose to found the Academy here. Other Jedi came here before us and also settled. Some of their buildings survived and were in turn built upon. You paused, then said more softly, "I wish you could have seen the old Temple on Coruscant. It was a thousand times the size of this. The amount of times I got lost, even after having lived there for years...And it was so beautiful. Vaulted ceilings that were so high you could barely see them, or it felt that way. carvings and tapestries of Jedi past everywhere. And a serenity that permeated it. As soon as you walked in you felt more at peace with the galaxy." You only realised that you were staring out of the window, when Din took your hand. You had been looking at the plains but actually seeing the slanted sunbeams coming through the windows of the Temple and hitting the marble floors.

As you came back to yourself Din said softly, "It was your home. You've told me that it was before, but I've never really seen you speak of it as such until now. I'm sorry I cannot offer you a place like that to live."

"Don't. I just need you. The ship feels more like home with you in it than it ever did when I was alone." You stroked your hands over the stubble at his jaw as you spoke and he moved his cheek against your hand, almost burrowing into your touch. "I love you, Din. I don't tell you nearly enough." His eyes met yours and they were soft and warm with his matching adoration of you. You leaned forward to capture his lips with your own and as you did, heard a slightly embarrassed cough from the direction of the door. You raised your eyes to see Tolea standing there.

"Sorry," she grimaced. "Its just, the children are about to prepare for bed and I thought you might like to say goodnight." Din put his helmet back on and stood, gathering his plate and cutlery as he did so. "Here I'll take that," she offered. "You go."

Instead of sleeping in one room, the children were now divided into three dormitories, and Loro had his own little room to himself next door to the younglings. It was strange to see how much had changed in the relatively short time you had been away. Grogu shared a room with Alikas and a little boy called Dann. Even if Luke hadn't mentioned Tolea's biological children, you would have recognised those eyes anywhere. As you went to tuck the children in, Din hung back a little by the doorway, clearly still unsure as to whether he should be there. But when Grogu reached for him, he went immediately, stroking his fuzzy little head and covering him over with the blankets in his crib. "Goodnight, kid," he murmured. "Sweet dreams."

Din and you went your separate ways shortly afterward - he returned to the Haldon while you joined the other Jedi in Luke's study. Luke looked pensive and a little worried as you entered and he immediately asked you about the Mandalorian.

"He is troubled. Less by what we spoke of and more about something deeper, something from his past. He has not spoken to me about that yet, but he is also concerned about the alliance you spoke of. Din has no desire to be the Mand'alor. He obtained the Darksaber almost accidentally. He wishes a peaceful transition of power to the Mandalorian who does wish to rule." Tolea and Ka-Moon both looked a little confused about what you were saying, so you set to telling them an abridged version of what had befallen the day that Luke had taken Grogu. "We have plans to meet with Din's people. After that we will have a better idea of how to proceed. He does not want another civil war amongst the Mandalorians, especially since they are already so few. But the Mand'alor must be determined by combat. There seems to be no way to reconcile these things. An overt alliance with the Jedi at this time would muddy the political waters even further and bring undue attention upon us here," you concluded.

"I understand his reaction a little more now. And yet a reluctant ruler can sometimes be the better kind. He does not seek power for himself, or for its own sake. What about the one that wants the throne?"

"I know little about her, other than Din considers her honourable. I trust his judgement." Luke nodded, looking thoughtful again. Tolea piped up, a little hesitantly.

"I don't mean to detract from the seriousness of the situation, but if he did choose to take the throne does that mean you would be a...queen?" You smiled at her. It was a question that had passed through your mind but that you had paid little real attention to.

"I don't think it works that way. There is only one ruler of Mandalore. There are few shades of grey in their society. I think I would be viewed as his consort, but would wield no actual power. That's if we were married, of course." The unadorned mention of why you were here caused a slight tension in the room for a few seconds before it relaxed and released, the bubble burst by your simple words. No one seemed surprised by your declaration and your suspicion that the others had at least sensed the feelings between Din and yourself seemed to have been proven right. That was if Luke hadn't just told them both outright.

"I am personally unsure about the wisdom of doing away with such rules," Ka-Moon said, a little stiffly. "We all know where such attachment can lead."

"So much has changed," countered Tolea. "The dangers of allowing attachment to drive emotion are still present, but how can we be away from the rigours of Temple life for almost twenty years and then return to that life as if nothing were different?"

"We cannot," agreed Ka-Moon, "But nor should we let go of everything that made the Order what it was."

"I agree," Luke chimed in, "But we should find a new way forward. The Order fell in part because it was not responsive enough to change. I believe we need to be more flexible in how we operate, now that we are so few."

"Forgive me, but you were not there. I do not believe you have sufficient knowledge of how the Order used to be run to be able to criticise it in such a way."

"But we all were," you interjected, "And Yoda himself trained Luke, and I agree with him."

"You have a vested interest in this particular discussion," pointed out Ka-Moon gently. "I am not dismissing your view, only pointing out the circumstances surrounding it."

"Then I too must have a vested interest," said Tolea. "Since my children are here. Would you have us leave, Master Kholi? If we are adhering to the old ways, the children should not be in my presence." She sighed. "We cannot go back. We must build what we can."

"Bringing force sensitive younglings to be trained is far different than seeking marriage. The children are already here, we cannot deny them. We need to nurture them and their abilities. Ratifying marriage within the Order is new territory and possibly dangerous."

"The Mandalorian and I will continue to live as we have," you pointed out. "Whether we speak the words or not, he is my husband in my life, in my heart."

"So what difference does it make?" asked Ka-Moon.

"Precisely," you answered.

The debate stretched. Tea was made and drunk and made again. The light had almost totally failed and only a few streaks of pale green across the blue of the sky to the north showed where the sun had been by the time a decision was made. Ka-Moon was still not entirely happy, but had come around to the idea of forging a new path for the Jedi. Afterward he confessed that his own heart ached for a past love that he had been forced to give up in service of the Order and you understood his reluctance a little more. When you had suggested that he go and seek him, as you had Din, he gave a sad smile and shook his head. "He died fighting the Empire a long time ago. But I wish you and your Mandalorian much happiness in your life together." You were grateful for his kind words and told him as much.

"So...how do we go about this? I mean, can we do this here? Soon?"

Luke smiled a little at your eager impatience. "I don't see why not. If you can find somewhere you want to conduct the ceremony. What will the ceremony be, anyway?"

"I don't even know. There is a very brief Mandalorian ritual but as to what I am bringing, I just don't know. I would like to have you all there, though. My family in attendance and to witness." Tolea was overjoyed for you and hugged you close with tears starting in her eyes as she did so. As the meeting broke up, she caught your hand in her own.

"Come with me, I want to give you something." Curious, you followed her to her chambers - which were dark panelled but hung with beautifully woven and brightly coloured tapestries all over, giving the impression that you were walking into some sort of botanical garden. She rummaged around in a trunk at the end of her bed and finally emerged with a folded garment in her arms. "This was-" she began before her voice cracked. You stroked her shoulder, encouraging her to go on if she could. "This was the dress I was wearing when I met my husband. Well...he was never my husband under the law. He died before...But I was going to use it for my wedding dress as well. If you like it, I want you to wear it."

"Tolea I...that's so wonderful of you. Are you quite sure?" She nodded, sniffling a little.

"It was supposed to be a wedding dress. It should be a wedding dress," she said, simply. "Try it on, we'll see how it suits you and if we need to adjust it anywhere." You gently shook the dress out. It was long and flowing, made of some material that seemed to catch and hold the breeze within it, and a beautiful lavender colour that rippled as it undulated gently. Tolea helped you put it on and aside from some minor adjustments to the waist, and the sleeves being a little too long it fit almost perfectly. Her eyes welled up again a little as she took in the sight of you and you thanked her profusely as you embraced. "I can't believe I have my friend back and now you're getting married? It's so strange! Do you remember those nights we couldn't sleep and would talk about what it would be like to have a "normal" life? We never expected we would actually do it!"

"I remember both of us being giggly over Master Kenobi," you said, laughing. "We weren't exactly model Jedi, even back then!" Tolea laughed and rummaged in the trunk again, coming up with a small sewing kit.

"Let me just adjust this a little for you. It will be finished by tomorrow." She took her measurements and made her markings and you gave the dress back into her capable hands before putting on your usual clothes. "Go tell Din the good news," she smiled as she shooed you gently out of her room.

Even though the hour was late, Din had not closed up the ship, clearly expecting that you would indeed visit after your meeting. As you approached, you wondered why he had not come out to meet you, as the sensors in his helmet would have told him of your approach in good time. Reasoning that he had perhaps become weary of his beskar again and was hiding out in the ship, you all but ran up the incline of the entrance ramp, calling him as you did. He was not in the hold and there was no reply. You opened the door to the room you shared, but he was not there. You couldn't hear the shower running in the fresher either. The elation you had felt was souring to anxiety in your stomach as you climbed the ladder to the cockpit where you found Din's hulking form slouched in the pilot's chair, his helmet thrown carelessly to one side and his right arm dangling loosely over the armrest, the hilt of the Darksaber in his hand. He did not turn at the sound of your approach and a brief moment of terror seized your heart when you thought he might be unconscious, or worse.

"Din?" you called again as you came up to the back of the seat, and this time he stirred a little, though his eyes never left the view from the cockpit window. "Din, what's wrong?" you asked as you came to his side and touched his elbow. Finally, he dragged his gaze to you. His eyes were lit with the same wildness that you had seen when he had kissed you in the rain but it was wrong somehow, muted, dulled, and sickly. A thin trail of dark blood leaked from one nostril.

"I can hear it," he frowned, his words slightly slurred and coming slowly. "Is this what you hear? How can you bear it?"

"You can hear what, Din?" you asked, trying to keep your voice calm as you pressed the back of your hand to his head. His brow was both cold and slick with sweat.

"Everything," he panted. "Why can I hear it? I...I can feel it." His eyes grew suddenly wide and fearful, something you had never seen before and which chilled you to the bone.

"Din, you need to come with me," you said firmly. "You're unwell. Master Kholi will look over you and then you will be fine." This last part was more for your benefit than for his. There had only been one other time when he had acted in a similar way, long ago when you had first travelled with him, before you had ever known him fully. It had been such a silly mistake. As you had chased your quarry through a jungle landscape, he had tripped over a root and fallen headfirst into a bush. You had teased him mercilessly about it for the rest of the afternoon and all seemed well until the next morning. It transpired that as he had removed his beskar for the night, a thorn that had snagged on his clothing had scratched a jagged line onto his skin, its swift poison working its way through him as he slept. Even through his delirium he had managed to put his helmet back on before you found him. It had been his last rational thought for several days.

The beautiful depths of his eyes grew cloudy with confusion at your words. "But...you asked me. If I could feel it. And now I can."

"Its okay, kar'ta." you murmured soothingly to him. "Come with me, everything will be-" A thought struck you like a thunderbolt. "Din," you whispered haltingly, "Do you mean you can feel the Darksaber?" In reply he held the hilt limply up toward you, almost as an offering. It seemed to take all of his strength to make that simple movement. You gulped as you reached for it with trepidation, wanting to take the burden of it from Din, but not wanting you both to be afflicted with whatever it was that was happening. As your fingers closed around the hilt, a wave of sound and emotion hit you. Terror and abandonment and rage and screaming madness and the same thrumming that you had heard earlier as you had meditated, stronger this time and more defined as a heavy thumping the longer you held the hilt. As blackness crowded the edge of your vision, you dropped it to the floor of the ship. Din made tiny anguished noise at the sight and reached down weakly to grasp at it again. "No!" you exclaimed sharply as you pushed him gently but firmly back into his seat. "Leave it there!" You kicked the weapon away out of the reach of you both, the terrifying cacophony blasting through you for a second time as your boot connected with it. Din lay back into the pilot's chair, his chest rising and falling rapidly as if he couldn't quite get enough oxygen into him. Quickly, you used the communication array to contact Luke, silently offering a prayer of gratitude when he answered almost immediately.

"What's wrong?" he asked. "I sense-"

"Get Ka-Moon and come to the ship. Din is ill. Please hurry." Luke disconnected at once and you turned your attentions back to the man in front of you, kneeling down beside him and taking his gloved hand in yours while stroking the sweat soaked strands of his hair back from his forehead. "Kar'ta, they will be here soon and we will make you feel better, I promise. Can we take some of your beskar off? You might be more comfortable when they arrive." His attention seemed to have meandered back to the cockpit window. You stood and looked outside yourself, but could see only the darkness of the plains ahead. Only starlight existed out there to illuminate anything and it wasn't enough. Bending back to Din, you began to remove his pauldrons. He did nothing to stop you, but nor did he assist. You weren't entirely sure he was able to move to help, nor that he was even aware of what you were doing.

Your mind was turning furiously, trying to piece together what had happened. Clearly he had been well enough to get up the ladder to the cockpit in the first place, so this was a relatively new affliction. But you had been at the meeting for hours. Who knew how long he had been here in this state? The thought of him experiencing the torment you had heard and felt for that long made you choke back a sob that tried to make its way up your throat, and you forced your mind back to rationality with some difficulty. When you had been on Artorias and had begun teaching him about lightsaber forms, you had asked him if he could feel anything from the Darksaber, if the crystal within it spoke to him as your lightsaber crystal spoke to you. He had replied in the negative. What had changed? Location was the most obvious answer. This planet was strong with the Force. Was it possible that he had a degree of Force sensitivity but that it took a planet like this for it to be strong enough to be noticeable? Or was the Darksaber reacting differently and not Din himself? You had held the weapon previously and had felt nothing like what you had just experienced. As your mind whirred you were removing his thigh armour and this time he moved his legs up a little, you believed in an attempt to give you easier access to the fastenings. Your heart gave a hopeful leap at this and as you pulled the beskar away you cradled his face and looked into his eyes. They were still hazy, with pain or confusion you couldn't tell, but his attention was fixed on you now, and he held your gaze. Both of which you took to be good signs.

"Its okay Din, it will all be okay. I love you. I love you so much. We will make you better, I promise. I'm here with you and it will all be okay." You were babbling a stream of near-meaningless nonsense, for your own benefit as much as his. You heard Luke's voice and footsteps approach up the incline of the ramp and pressed your lips against Din's briefly, thinking (hoping?) you felt him try to reciprocate. You stroked his face softly before easing him forward from the headrest and placing his helmet back on his head, calling to the Jedi below as you did so.

The next couple of hours were a nightmare whirlwind for you. Ka-Moon made his basic assessments of Din, but was hampered by the fact that you refused to allow him to take his helmet off. You had no idea what choice Din would make in this situation, given that Luke had already seen his face, but you were determined to err on the side of caution and to retain his dignity for him as far as possible. Din seemed to be able to move a little more as the minutes ticked by and eventually could stand, aided by a person on either side of him, though he seemed to have lost the ability to speak when you took the Darksaber from him. Getting him down the ladder was problematic to say the least. While his hands were still able to grip the rungs sufficiently, you ended up helping to physically move his legs while Luke was on standby to catch him, with the Force if necessary. Mercifully, there was a floating stretcher waiting in the hold and as you helped Din to lie back on to it, he groped for your hand and squeezed it when you gave it to him. It was a pitiful fraction of his usual strength, but it bolstered your courage and gave you hope in your heart. You ached for him, that people were witnessing his physical weakness and for the first and only time you hoped that his wits hadn't entirely returned, to spare him his shame. As you had appraised Luke of what you had experienced, he had wrapped the Darksaber in a thick woollen blanket that you had provided, taking care to only touch it with his gloved mechanical hand and looking grimly thoughtful as he did. Tolea was there to greet you at the door of the Academy again and she accompanied you all to the medical bay. Ka-Moon swore that he would not remove Din's helmet but requested that he be allowed a degree of peace to run his tests. You knew it was the best thing to do, but were also having trouble leaving Din's side. Much as you trusted in Ka-Moon's healing capabilities, you couldn't help but feel that somehow this was your fault and that by leaving Din alone you were compounding your mistake. Only when Din managed to breathe a shaky "Mesh'la" to you before stroking his thumb clumsily over your cheek did you feel he was recovered enough for you to be just outside the room. You kissed the top of his helmet and pressed your forehead against it before you left, accompanied by Tolea and Luke.

"What's happening? Did you feel anything from the Darksaber? How can I help him? What can I do?" you fired these questions in quick succession at Luke, your voice breaking on the last one. Tolea came to you and hugged you close.

"I have a theory," Luke began haltingly, "But its not complete...Tolea, tell me again what you saw when you went to the Temple." Tolea let you go and turned to face Luke, but before she did you saw the look of trepidatious realisation on her face.

"The Temple where you got your crystal?" you asked, frantically.

Luke nodded. "I don't know if you remember but just before you left to find Din, I mentioned that I thought I had found reference to an ancient temple nearby. When Tolea arrived she volunteered to go and find it if she could."

"There was something...bizarre about the place," Tolea said, her eyes a little distant. "The further in I explored the more untouched it looked. As if one day everyone had just flown away and left. I found a few useful things scattered around - datapads and the like. The only ruination I could see had been caused by the weather and so was mainly on the outside. Until I reached what looked like the meditation room. There were...bones in there. A lot of them. All jumbled up. And scorch marks from weapons on the walls. Its where I found the lightsaber that I took my crystal from. There were a few of them scattered around, but I was drawn to that one in particular..."

"Did you feel anything from the Temple?" you pressed. "Anything that might explain-" you broke off and gestured helplessly at the room behind you.

Tolea shook her head. "You were always the more perceptive of us," she answered. "I felt nothing but the sadness and emptiness of yet more death around me."

"I need to go there," you said instantly. "If it might help-" Luke held up a warding hand.

"I know its not what you want to hear," he cautioned, "But you must be patient. Do not rush in until we have more information." He spoke more loudly over you as you began to protest, "I know you want to feel like you are doing something. But he needs you here. Once he is back on his feet, you know he will follow you wherever you may go. And without knowing more about what has happened here, you might just be leading him into more danger." He was right, you knew he was right.

"So what can I do?" you whispered miserably.

"You can help me with my research. The Darksaber is a unique weapon in the galaxy as far as we know. And so much of its history is lost. We will start with information on its creator, Tarre Vizsla, and then-"

"Vizsla," you murmured. Luke looked at you, puzzled. "Vizsla was the name of the Mandalorian I met. The one I...lost my control with." Had it really only been the previous night that you and Din had been wrapped around each other in the magnificence of that bed? It seemed like weeks ago. "I knew I recognised the name, but I couldn't think why. I have read about Tarre Vizsla before. Do you think it is relevant?"

"At this point, I don't want to rule anything out," Luke said grimly.

"Can you spare a datapad? I don't want to move too far from here."

Luke's eyes and voice softened a little as he replied. "Of course," he said. "I'll upload everything I have been able to find out about this planet and the Darksaber and I'll bring it to you." Tolea was the one who actually brought you the datapad. She came to you twenty minutes after Luke had departed and she also brought along water, some fruit and a couple of large colourful patchwork cushions that you recognised as having been on her bed earlier.

"In case you want to be a little more comfortable," she explained as you gratefully accepted them. There were no chairs in the corridor and the toll of the day had begun to make itself known to you. "No news?" she enquired, her eyes flicking toward the medbay door. You shook your head wordlessly, not trusting yourself to speak at that moment. She brought you in for a hug again. "Everything will be okay," she soothed as she stroked your hair. "He is strong. He will be just fine."

"What do I-" your voice broke and you stopped to take deep breaths before continuing. "How do I tell Grogu?" you whispered miserably. "He's only just got Din back and now..." Tolea took your face in her hands and looked into your eyes.

"You won't need to tell Grogu anything because Din will be fine," she insisted. You nodded sadly and Tolea sat you down on one of the cushions, positioning herself on the other opposite you. "Can I ask something?" she spoke hesitantly and you nodded for her to continue. "What did he say to you in there? That word that made you come away." You felt your eyes well up and had some difficulty controlling the spasms of grief that passed across your face. "I'm sorry," Tolea apologised hurriedly. "I shouldn't have-"

"It's ok," you said, your voice a little wobblier than you would have liked. "It's Mando'a. He called me 'Mesh'la'. Its his name for me, when we're together. I don't think he's ever said it quite that publicly before. It means 'beautiful'." And for some reason, that was the word that broke the through the dam you had tried so hard to keep strong. Tears flooded down your face in a silent stream as Tolea held you against her shoulder, stroking over your back through your shuddering breaths.

Once you were calm, you insisted Tolea go to get some rest. It would already be a challenge to focus on the datapad in front of you, when Din was so close and yet so out of reach. You didn't want to hurt Tolea's feelings, but you did not want an additional distraction to your task. She left, but only once she had extracted a promise from you that you would call her if you needed her for anything. Once you settled back down on the cushions and began to read, you realised that much of Luke's research was more of a reminder of what you had already known than anything new. Tarre Visla had been the first Mandalorian to train as a Jedi on the Temple on Coruscant. He had created the Darksaber as a way to marry his Mandalorian and Jedi identities and it had later become a symbol of power among Mandalorians, Vizsla himself using the weapon while he was the Mand'alor. After he had died, the Jedi had brought the Darksaber back to the Temple and it had been kept there until members of House Vizsla had taken it back and used it to unite the Mandalorian clans. That had been during the fall of the Old Republic, over a thousand years ago and its history was shrouded in mystery for many centuries thereafter.

More interesting was what he had been able to discover about the Temple that lay not far to the East. It had been a Jedi stronghold towards the end of the Jedi-Sith wars, around the same time that Vizsla was alive, and although it was small it was apparently of some strategic importance to both sides. There were reports of frequent Sith attacks, all of which seemed to be successfully repelled by the Jedi stationed there. However, the last report that Luke had been able to find had some interesting details that caught your eye. The Sith that had attacked on this occasion were bolstered by a cell of highly trained fighters that had managed to withstand the Jedi offensives, even though they themselves were not Force users. And there was a mention of a "Hunter" that stalked the plains, picking off any unwary Jedi that strayed too far from the confines of the Temple. The very last line of this account was a desperate plea to Coruscant for extraction, with a warning that the Temple was now unviable and a line that sent a chill down your spine; "They did not conquer, they did not have to. They were always here. They will always be here."

As you pondered the implications of those words, the door behind you opened and Ka-Moon's kindly face looked down at you. "Come in," he invited, and you scrambled to your feet to do just that. Din was sitting up on one of the beds, his back to the wall and with one leg on the bed and one on the floor, as if he were about to attempt to walk. His remaining beskar, cape and gloves were piled on a chair near to the bed, but his helmet was on. "Don't let him do too much," Ka-Moon was saying as you made your way across the floor to Din. "He needs rest. I will be back shortly." You thanked him a little distractedly as he withdrew from the room, and then turned your attention fully to Din. He moved to take the helmet from his head and you gladly assisted him. He looked exhausted, but much more himself and you couldn't stop the tears that spilled from your eyes as you bent and kissed his lips tenderly.

"Kar'ta," you whispered, as you gathered him to your chest and pressed him close. "I was so worried. I thought...I thought I had lost you."

"Never," he replied, his voice a little raspy. "It will require more than that to take me from you, cyar'ika." You took his face in your hands and scanned him, even as he wiped the tears from your cheeks. There was no evidence of physical hurt to him, even his nose had stopped bleeding. His eyes were his own again and that pleased you more than anything.

"What happened?" you asked as you sat yourself on the bed, holding his hands in your own. "What do you remember?" He was shaking his head at the questions.

"Ka-Moon asked me the same and I will tell you what I told him. I went back to the ship to attend to my weapons and beskar while you were in your meeting. I did so and took a shower afterward. That is all I remember." You frowned.

"You don't remember getting dressed? Putting your beskar back on? Going to the cockpit?" He shook his head at each question as you fired them. "When do your memories return?"

"I have flashes but I don't know if they are real memories or not. I remember taking my helmet off but I don't remember why. I remember a voice. Not yours. But a woman's. And...other noises." He visibly shuddered and then pulled himself together. "The sky. The sky was on fire. I remember your face. You took some of my armour off. And you held my hand. I remember reaching out to touch your face. Then everything seemed to settle in my head but you weren't there anymore. I've felt more like myself again for half an hour or so."

"Do you remember what this woman you heard said?" He frowned, his eyes focused on the floor but not really seeing it.

"She wanted something from me. I don't know what. I can't remember what she said, but I remember her hatred. Its still in my mind, like a bad taste I can't get rid of." He shook his head as if to dislodge what he was feeling.

"Are you in pain?" you asked him gently.

"My head hurt. He gave me something for it." He paused. "What happened to me?" You explained the situation from your point of view. When you came to talk about the Darksaber, Din almost absent-mindedly groped behind his back to feel for it and you gently took his hand in yours again.

"Luke has it. It seems to be connected with what happened but we aren't sure how yet." As you continued with your story, the crease between his eyes deepened until he was fully frowning at your words. You made sure to skate lightly over how much assistance he had required from the ship to the medbay and he didn't seem much inclined to ask. Your story ended with what you had read on the datapad and your own conclusion that you had drawn. "I have to go to the Temple, to investigate."

"Mesh'la-" he began, warningly.

"No, Din. I have to go. I need to stop this ever happening to you again, and for that I need information."

"Then I come with you." He made as if to heave himself off the bed, but you halted his progression gently with one hand.

"You need rest right now. I will not be going any time soon. I still need to see if Luke has discovered anything new." Din reluctantly settled himself back against the wall. When you spoke again, you did so hesitantly, not wanting to make him relive his traumatic experience quite so soon, but also needing answers only he could provide. "I know you say you remember nothing," you began, "but you said to me that you could hear the Darksaber, that you could feel it. Do you recall taking it out? Or using it? Or anything unusual about it from this evening?" Din frowned again in concentration and you squeezed his hand to remind him that you were there and he was safe. He spoke haltingly when he replied.

"When I cleaned my weapons, I held the Darksaber and switched it on to check it was all in order. But I remember that clearly, there was no voice then, nothing was wrong. It was all as it should be. I think...the Darksaber was the way that the woman could speak to me. But I don't know why I think that, I just have a feeling."

"Trust your feelings," you urged. "And let me know if anything else comes back to you. But for now, you must rest." You moved to the other side of the bed to settle next to him. "I am here, kar'ta," you murmured, as he lay down on his side and faced you. You kissed his forehead and held him close and within no time at all his breathing was deep and even as he fell into a deep sleep of exhaustion. After you had moved carefully and quietly back out of the room, you found Ka-Moon and informed him of Din's helmetless and sleeping state, promising him you would return shortly. Then you made your way to Luke's study where you were not surprised to find Tolea assisting in the research he had promised.

"I couldn't sleep," she confessed. "Not when everyone else was awake and doing something." You nodded and squeezed her hand gratefully before sitting in a chair next to her and putting forward the theory that had started to come together in your mind.

"I think that the Darksaber was here on this planet before, a thousand years ago. There is a mention of what sounds very much like a mercenary band of Mandalorians in that information you gave me, Luke. And a reference to a Hunter picking off Jedi, which may also have been one of their number. If Mandalorians and the Sith were working together here, is it not possible that the Darksaber was...infused? With some kind of memory perhaps. If one of the Sith were that strong, could they have done such a thing? And now that the weapon is back here, the echoes of it are strong enough to reach out and try to connect with us. If Din has any Force sensitivity it would explain why he was affected so badly. With no training to shield him, his mental defences would be minimal. I know its not a perfect explanation, but I think it fits a lot of the pieces together."

Luke seemed to ponder what you had proffered in silence for a time. "I have heard of artifacts and weapons retaining an essence of their owners, if their owners were sufficiently powerful in life," he mused. "I am troubled greatly by all of this. Not just because of what has happened to Din, but for the future of the Academy. I thought I felt a darkness...somewhere. I thought it was the remnant of what had happened between you and Vizsla, but now I begin to suspect it is something more. I have had dreams here and there ever since Tolea got back from her exploration, and I should have paid them more attention." He slapped his mechanical hand on the desk, and rose to pace the room.

"When you held the Darksaber, did you feel anything from it?" you enquired.

"No. And that troubles me too. How could someone who is not Force sensitive as far as we know hear it and I not? Unless..." he trailed off and turned to you. "Unless whatever was possessing it had got what it wanted. If possession is the right word. There's still so much we don't know."

"Which is why I need to go," you insisted.

"I will go myself," Luke said. "You are too close to this. If something is targeting you or Din, you need to stay far away from there. And I will not go until I am sure I have learned all I can about this situation." He spoke more softly toward you. "Go to him. Its the best thing you can do right now. And if you can, get some rest. We will resume tomorrow morning."

"The children-" you began.

"The children will be fine," Tolea interjected calmly. "And there is no sense in worrying about them or Grogu right now. Din may well be fully recovered tomorrow. Give it a night and see." You looked between she and Luke, feeling somehow that they were ganging up on you, even though what they were saying was perfectly logical and, you suspected, the right thing to do. You nodded and rose to leave the study.

"Before you go," Luke added, "Could you make out any words in what you were hearing when you held the Darksaber? Anything that might help?"

You shook your head slowly. "I don't think so. It was like a wall of sound. Of screaming in pain and anger and a weird thumping noise. But I should tell you something else that happened to me earlier." And you proceeded to inform him of your dream that you had had while meditating. "I don't know if its related, but the thumping kind of sounded the same and it seems like too much of a coincidence to not be linked."

"Agreed," Luke mused. "Go. I'll catch up with you tomorrow."

As you made your way back to the medbay, your mind was spinning once again. It was logical that Luke be the one to investigate the Temple, but something didn't sit entirely comfortably within you at that notion. You couldn't identify why, but you had a deep feeling that you should be the one to sort this mess out. Din was the most important part of your life and you wanted to be sure that proper justice would be done for the hurt he had suffered. Not that you didn't trust Luke, but you felt that with your additional investment in the situation, perhaps you would be more motivated to get answers. There was a part of you that wanted to just go, leave, fly off in the Haldon and fix it now, now, now. But you resisted the impulse. Din needed you and he came first. When you re-entered the room, Ka-Moon seemed to be running some tests, Din was sat up on the bed, his face covered once again.

"Well, the good news is that you are in wonderful physical shape," he was telling Din as he removed a sensor from the end of his finger. "And if you say you feel fine there isn't much more I can do for you at the moment. I would perhaps ask that you remain here overnight..." He trailed off as Din shook his head.

"I don't like hospitals," he grunted. "I won't get any rest."

"I'll be with him," you told Ka-Moon. "We'll go to my chamber here so we will be close by if anything happens." He inclined his head at you in acquiescence and moved off. Din reached for you as you approached and you took his hand and helped him to his feet. He was quite steady and apparently didn't need to lean on you. "Do you feel okay?" you asked. He nodded, but kept hold of your hand as he gathered his belongings from the chair.

Your chambers had remained almost untouched since your departure many months before. The droids had been in to clean and air the room and fresh bedding had been put on, so it wasn't dusty or dank, but it did have that sense of being unlived in that places get after a time with no one moving around in them. You lit the lamp by your bed and its soft yellow light permeated the room. Din shut the door behind him and deposited his clothes and armour on top of your dressing table, topping it with his helmet and then taking some time to look around him. The space was sparsely furnished and decorated. Everything that had meant the most to you, you had taken along with you upon your departure. Not that there was much, even then. The walls were dark panelled, similar to the room Tolea inhabited and this gave the room a cocoon-like quality. Strip lights were embedded in the walls, but you chose to leave them unlit - right now you wanted to make the room as conducive to sleep as possible. Some hangings in purple, pink and blue decorated the wall behind your bed. Their colours had reminded you of sunset on Naboo and you had bought them on impulse some years before. You had rescued Tolea's cushions from outside of the medbay and you stacked them neatly next to Din's armour before moving to the window and closing the curtains.

"Wait," Din instructed before you could block out the outside world entirely. He came up behind you, slid his arms around your waist and rested his chin on your shoulder, nuzzling his cheek against yours as he did and pulling you flush against his body. "I want to see the view."

"You can see much more of it when its not the middle of the night, Din," you smiled.

"Perhaps I meant the other view," he murmured as his finger snagged on the neckline of his undershirt, hanging so much more loosely than your usual garments and giving him an eyeful of your cleavage. You smiled fondly at his persistence and impetuosity.

"You just had quite an ordeal. Is this really the first thing you want to do?" you asked, half expecting it to be a rhetorical question. He held you even tighter to him and you were astonished to feel his breath hitch a little behind you. You tried to turn to him, to see his face and take him in your arms, but he held you firmly against him.

"I...just need you, cyar'ika. I do not know what happened today and that scares me. That is twice I have been afraid today, and twice I have told you so. What is happening to me? I do not think this place...I do not think it is for the likes of me. Perhaps there is a reason that there were no other Mandalorian Jedi. Maybe these worlds are not supposed to mix in this way." It shocked you, the uncertainty in his voice. It was so unlike Din to sound unsure. Even when he had no idea what he was doing, he would plough on ahead and try until he got the result he wanted through sheer force of will and bloody mindedness.

"You have me, Din. Always," you reassured him and all at once you remembered that amidst all of the worry and trauma of the afternoon, you had still not given him the good news. You squeezed his arms tighter around you and turned your face toward him, your lips brushing lightly over the tip of his nose as you added "If you still want me forever."

You heard the initial confusion in his voice as he said "Of course, why would I-" and the sudden joy that infused his words as he realised what you meant. "We will marry? You will not have to leave the Order?" He turned you to him as he spoke and held your upper arms. You smiled your answer at him and his lips crashed excitedly against yours. "Can we-I mean...I still don't know if you have a ritual to follow. But I want to do this. Now, if we can."

"Right now?" He nodded and cradled your face in one of his hands.

"I need you," he repeated.

"Don't we need someone to officiate? A witness?"

"Usually the head of the Clan is the one to hear the vows. I am the head of the Clan. I am...well, I am head of all the Clans..." he trailed off In a slightly embarrassed way and then continued swiftly as his eyes darted back to you. "We can reaffirm in front of the Tribe when we see them. We can do whatever ritual you wish in front of your Order. But I have been without you as my riduur for long enough. Besides, I wish to look upon you with my own eyes when we are joined."

"Yes," you whispered joyfully. "Let's do this." His smile was like the sunrise as he leaned forward to kiss you softly.

"I must teach you the words first," he smiled. He did and you spoke them slowly together, promising unity in all things, to share your lives in love forever and to raise Grogu and any other children you might have as warriors and looking with love and devotion upon the other as you did. He kissed you again afterward, the beautiful swell of his lips tenderly caressing over yours, the promises that had fallen from them captured between you in unbreakable bonds.

"My riduur," you murmured as you pressed your cheek against his chest, hearing the thunder of his heartbeat and his arms encircling you. "My love."

That night you held him. He lay on your bed with his back to you, looking out over the inky blackness of the planet's nightscape. One hand was around his stomach and curling up to his chest, stroking over his marred skin, and the other was softly stroking his curls while you placed occasional chaste kisses across the top of his back and shoulders, inhaling the heady masculinity of his scent as you did so. Your leg was hooked over his, resting against the sturdy muscle of his thigh and he stroked you there softly, seeming to just want the reassurance of your proximity. Long after he fell asleep you remained awake, your mind still unable to settle after the trauma of the day and the exhilaration of finally being joined with Din in all ways. He stirred a little, a small grunt emanating from him as he twitched in his sleep. Perhaps he too was reliving what had happened. You sent soothing, calm, loving feelings toward him and held him closer and he settled again, breathing a deep sigh and muttering nonsense to himself. Just before the dawn quite made itself known, when the sky was still blue enough to see the stars you succumbed to your weariness, slipping into a dreamless, formless unconsciousness but safe in the knowledge that Din was with you, now and always.

#the mandalorian #din djarin #star wars #the mandalorian x reader #the mandalorian x you #the mandalorian fanfiction #din djarin x you #din djarin fanfiction #din djarin x reader #darksaber shit

38 notes · View notes

ontheoddoccasioniwritestuff · 7 years ago

Text

Complementary (Collins x OC) Chapter 26: Alright

Summary: The outing that both Genevieve and Jack arrives but they try anyway for the sake of one another and their mutual friend Farrier.

AN: @ Jack hit me up and kiss me in the snow, yeah?? But also, this gif is precious and this is a long ass chapter.

Another fic will be up tonight since I had a day off!

Previous Chapter Masterlist Gif Credit Next Chapter

Curled up on the couch, Genevieve came to the penultimate chapter of Dorian Gray. The warm blanket was wrapped around her legs, tucked under with careful precision. A mug of tea – finally, she’d trained Jack to make it properly – was on the walnut coffee table, just a few feet in front of the crackling fire.

She heard the front door close and boots clatter against the floor. There was only one other person with a key to her flat so she knew who it was in an instant. Shedding his coat and scarf, Jack sauntered into the sitting room and placed a kiss on his girlfriend’s head.

“Hello, my love,” She smiled up at him, “How was your day?”

“Pretty good,” He plonked himself on the other side of the couch, “Not much happened though. You?”

“I finished grading those papers so I’m free to the end of term.”

“Sounds good. More time for me then,” Jack grinned, taking a sip from her mug and dodging a small kick of indignation. Merely grimacing at him when he continued to steal her drink, Genevieve went back to her book after tucking her feet back under her.

“So, some of the guys are getting together-”

“Guys?”

“Guys, pilots I flew with,” Jack clarified before continuing, “Anyway, they’re going out to the Red Lion tomorrow celebrate the first Christmas after the war and also an official welcome back for Farrier. I was wondering if you wanted to come along. There’s gonna be dancing.”

Genevieve frowned, “Is that supposed to convince me or deter me?”

“Convince.”

“You’re barking up the wrong tree, my love,” She turned a page. Sighing, Jack took a seat on the couch adjacent to her.

“Please, most of them don’t think you exist. They think I cut your photo out of a magazine or somethin’ ‘cause you’re too pretty to be my girl.”

“I don’t know, Jack…” Genevieve tilted her head to the side, focusing on the Sunflowers poster behind his head instead.

Sensing the crack in her resolve, Jack pressed a little further, “It’ll just be for an hour or so. Farrier’ll want you there. It’s the only time I want you to come to a bar.”

“I’ll think about it.” The book dropped as Jack pulled it back and knelt in front of Genevieve, his face on her knees. He pouted, his bottom lip quivering in a pantomime fashion, his eyes – damn, his eyes – were wide and begging.

“Please, my love, my sweet, my one, my darling, my baby, my-”

“Jack, you don’t want me hanging around all evening like a wet blanket.”

Sliding closer, Jack leant over Genevieve’s body with the same expression, blinking pleadingly at her as he pushed her knees aside and gripped the back of the sofa to maintain his position of ultimate begging. Sighing loudly, Genevieve tilted her head back to avoid his stare. Big mistake. Jack seized the opportunity to press a kiss against her neck, then another a little lower, and another.

“Jack,” Genevieve groaned in sweet resignation. Sensing this, Jack began to suck on a new spot and rubbed it with his tongue.

“Alright, you’ve seduced me into it!” Genevieve said dramatically as she pulled him up by his hair, “You better not have left a mark, you cruel bastard.”

“Thanks, darling,” Jack quickly kissed her lips before twisting around and settling between her legs, his head under her chin, “How much left have you got to go?”

“Two chapters,” Genevieve looped her arms under Jack’s before picking up her book and resuming her read through. She didn’t bother to stop Jack when he stole her tea again. She couldn’t blame him for wanting to have something drinkable for once.

“You nearly ready?” Jack adjusted his tie in her sitting room mirror. He made sure that it covered the top button that wasn’t done up. The stiff collar was bad enough without added restricted breathing.

“I’ll be out in a sec,” Genevieve yelled back. She settled on a pair of ballet-esque shoes instead of heels. Fuck, if she was gonna even attempt to dance, she was not going to walk around in those stilts. Envy combined with respect was all she felt towards those who could walk in those torture devices.

With a neckline that wasn’t too low-cut, three-quarter length sleeves and an a-line skirt (pockets included), the dress wasn’t the worst option. It was however the only option. It was an old one of her sister’s that was a “happy moving in” gift. In all honesty, she didn’t wear it anymore because she preferred green and had an exact copy in her preferred shade of jade. Genevieve pushed her sister from her mind. While she had phoned her family frequently she had yet to tell them about Jack. That was a topic of conversation for another day.

Sticking another pin in her loosely braided bun, she sprayed it in one final attempt to make her hair stay in place. Her prayers were answered as her hair held its position. The forecast had said the night would be clear and crisp so she left her coat on its hook, checking her appearance once more before shutting the bedroom door.

“Not bringing the hat then?” She teased, relishing in his eye roll of regret at showing her that damn hat, “Are we taking the car or not?”

“Uh, not, I walked here and we won’t need it unless you’re not drinking or if your leg’s hurting,” Jack brushed off his jacket, turning to Genevieve whilst she grabbed her cane.

“Alright, it’s not that far anyway so as long as we don’t drink too much, we’ll be fine. My leg’s good,” Genevieve picked a piece of fluff of his shoulder before she realised Jack was staring blankly at her with his mouth slightly agape, “You alright?”

Closing his mouth and swallowing, Jack nodded. He was reminded of the daydreams that had gotten him through the war. He landed the one written in the draft letter he’d recovered before Genevieve burst in with the news of Van Gogh’s exhibition. The draft of the last letter he’d written to her, where he’d scribbled a deleted paragraph about having children together. A golden haired girl with her bright smile and love for the rain and a chubby little boy trotting after his sister as they played airplanes in a garden filled with sunflowers and cosmos. Names unknown, faces undistinguishable but a possible future Jack liked to think about.

“I think red’s my new favourite colour.”

Feeling the blood rush to her cheeks, Genevieve dropped her head and bit her lip in embarrassment, “You’re an idiot.” She lightly hit him in the stomach.

“I love it when you get all flushed,” Jack teased, leaning closer, “You look enchanting, my darling.”

“You don’t look half bad yourself,” Genevieve responded as she managed to meet his gaze with a witty smile.

“Oh, so generous too with the flattery,” Jack checked the mantle clock then he backed towards the door, “We better get going so you can shower the lads with half-truths.”

“Please, you’re the only one I’d compliment with such authenticity,” Genevieve followed him out the flat. She took his arm with her spare once she locked the door.

“You know how to make a man feel special,” Jack’s sarcasm overflowed in the statement as they walked out of her building. Their humorous conversation continued up until they made it around the corner of the pub when Genevieve went silent.

“You alright?” Jack slipped his hand into hers and squeezed.

Genevieve nodded, “Yeah, just a bit… nervous.”

“I’ll be here the whole time,” Jack pulled her closer, “Just tell me if you need air and we can leave whenever you want.”

“Thank you,” Genevieve rested her head against his shoulder, silently psyching herself up before standing up straight again, “Let’s go.”

It was crowded. It was bustling. It was definitely louder than the last time Genevieve had been in a pub – over five years prior when she had to drag a plastered Jack out. Her body tensing, she adjusted her grip on her cane as an anchor. Jack kept his hand in hers as they scanned for a familiar face.

They both landed on the only one they both knew. Farrier lit up like the lights in Trafalgar Square upon seeing them. He stood up without excuse from the table he was a part of and strided over to them. His cheeks and his nose were ruddy. His clothes matched his comrades. After he clapped Jack on the back, shaking his hand ferociously as he grinned, he took Genevieve into a tight hug. Jack tensed but Genevieve seemed fine with this sudden display of affection.

“So glad you could make it,” He exaggerated each word as if to convince them that he wasn’t tipsy in the slightest, “Come on, everyone is waiting.”

“He’s rather hands on when he’s had a few, should’ve mentioned that. Sorry, love,” Jack excused himself quietly as they followed Farrier back the table. Genevieve nodded then flinched as someone was shoved into her. Eager to make amends, Jack stepped up behind her and took the role of shoving others out of the way and scowling at those who dared question his actions.

When they made it to the table, Eastbury stood to shake their hands over the table, lingering on Genevieve’s as he introduced himself and the woman next to him, “I’m Eastbury. This is my wife Frances.”

“Genevieve,” said person greeted, shaking hands with the tipsy man and the stunning woman opposite. Jack tried not to seem surprised at the fact that Eastbury had a wife as he in turn said hello.

“Lester. So you actually exist?” Lester greeted as he shook Genevieve’s hand.

“Yes,” She nodded, trying to uphold eye contact, “So do you.”

Genevieve took a seat beside Farrier and she began talking quietly to him. He responded a little louder than a whisper but she smiled with her response. Jack didn’t object, sitting beside her with Lester on his other side. It was a dream come true to see them interacting so animatedly together.

Another round was ordered and it seemed that Eastbury was way further ahead in the stages of drunken behaviour. Farrier and Frances were close behind, followed by Lester and leaving Genevieve and Jack in last place. Genevieve wasn’t in any rush to catch up, content to sip her pint and chat with Farrier. Jack on the other hand took two drinks to reach third place by quarter to ten.

“Are you really a sniper?” Eastbury leant across the table, disrupting Genevieve’s conversation with Farrier. His voice was much less together than he thought it was.

“Yes, I was,” She answered politely.

“Woah,” Eastbury boggled then he pointed to her cane resting against the table, “Is the cane secretly a sniper rifle?”

“No, it’s just my cane,” Genevieve knocked the curved edge against the table top. Farrier burst into wheezes that erupted from deep in his chest. He slapped the table boisterously, in the final stages of drunk now. Jack watched him distractedly until he calmed down. That lasted all of five seconds when Genevieve took her cane and mimed shooting a patron at the opposite end of the bar and they both collapsed in paroxysms of hissed laughter.

“Did Jack ever tell you how we read your letters?” Eastbury followed up out of the blue.

Genevieve sat up straighter, laughter coming to a close more with intrigue than with feeling violated, “No.”

Before Jack could stop this revelation coming to light, Eastbury slurred, “We had to force him to write his confession because he’s so dumbly in love with you.”

“We were his wingmen!” Lester chimed in.

“Oh, Jack,” Genevieve took Jack’s hand and squeezed it, her teasing grin fuelled by the ease of the alcohol. Jack went a little red but thankfully he was saved by the bell – or the clock chiming on the pub wall.

“Right, that’s ten, no war talk after ten,” Eastbury announced.

“Oh thank God,” Frances knocked back the rest of her drink.

She didn’t comment but Genevieve sighed with relief, take a deeper draft from his glass. The lack of war talk allowed for her to converse with Frances, their chatter not lost over the table in the mix of the guys’ prattle. But just as she was getting into the conversation, the pub started to grow to booming levels of volume.

“You alright, love?” Jack checked in, sobering up for his girlfriend’s sake.

“I’m alright. You?”

“Yeah,” Jack spoke slowly because he really wasn’t “alright” if she wasn’t, “Do you want to come outside for a bit? I’m getting a bit stuffy in here anyway.”

With a murmured excuse to Farrier, Genevieve allowed herself to be led her outside, away from the hubbub. Jack was right; there was no one outside due to the clouds gathering overhead. This didn’t dissuade him though; he simply waited for Genevieve to take her time pacing the empty beer garden with her feet rotating in a steadying technique.

“Do you want to dance?” He asked softly, feeling nervous for some reason, “Or am I still barking up the wrong tree?”

To his delight, Genevieve agreed to dance with him. After placing her cane on a bench he pulled Genevieve close, one hand on her waist and the other taking her left, and swayed her from side to side. The muffled swing music guided their steps.

Genevieve’s smile returned to her face. She maintained eye contact with her boyfriend and swayed with him. The cold didn’t bother her much; Jack’s body heat radiated through his uniform and into her. Their faces were close, their noses almost touching.

Something drifted between them. A dainty snowflake floated in front of Genevieve’s eyes and landed on Jack’s right cheek. Tilting her head up at the marbled grey sky, the pair saw more snowflakes followed, dancing on the air with them. Genevieve started laughing as more settled on her face, tilting her head back and sticking her tongue out to catch them. The white flecks landed in her hair, turning her dress into a polka-dot pattern.

“Snow always meant shit for me,” Jack murmured, “Used to catch on the windshield, block our view, couldn’t see anything in the storms.”

“Same here,” Genevieve looked back at him, “Cold as fuck, the uniform didn’t help… But it’s so beautiful.”

“It is,” Jack agreed. He spun her around, her skirts lifting with her, before bringing her back close to him. A little more confident with the dance, Genevieve relaxed and rested her head against Jack’s chest. His heartbeat was slow and strong, steadily thumping against her ear. She slipped her hand out of his and linked it with the other behind his neck, feeling Jack place his on her waist.

“I love you,” She closed her eyes, contentedly so.

“I love you too,” Jack pressed a kiss on the crown of her head. The swaying ceased and the pair stood in the garden in each other’s embrace, the rabble of the pub a distant event as the snow fell around them.

They weren’t sure how long they were stood there. For when they pulled away the snow was heavier and louder. It was sleet. So much for the weather forecast.

“Well, it was nice while it lasted,” Genevieve said cheerily, “Wanna go back in?”

“Would rather go home,” Jack shrugged.

“Should we tell them?” She gestured to the pub but Jack shrugged again.

“Home it is.”

Taking his hand, Genevieve ran with him in tow. She was faster than him somehow, her limp had diminished to an occasional stumble and she was thanking her stars that she wasn’t wearing heels. The rain and the running fuelled her adrenaline and Genevieve found herself to be laughing again. Jack was doing the same. Cackling like mad people, they wheezed as they jumped over and around puddles with the raindrops coming hard and fast. It thwacked down and showed no signs of stopping.

“You wanted to dance!” Genevieve crowed, taking both of Jack’s hands and spinning him around with glee. Indulging her lunacy, Jack spun her faster until she let go of one hand and twirled into his arms, her back against his chest as she giggled hysterically. She only calmed down as she caught Jack’s gaze over her shoulder, droplets running down his hair and face. Breathing deeply, he leant his forehead against hers. The memory of a moonlit serenade filled their heads.

“Kiss me,” He breathed. Genevieve tilted her head to meet his lips. They lazily moved in sync, Genevieve swiping her tongue over Jack’s bottom lip then gently taking it in her mouth to suck on it. Groaning, Jack’s hand subconsciously moved to her neck. She shivered at his touch, her skin tingling in his wake.

Rain ran down their faces, forcing them apart. Smiling shyly at her sudden extroverted behaviour, Genevieve kissed Jack’s cheek before tugging him back down the road that led to her flat. Completely smitten, Jack let her do so. In the shelter of the building’s foyer, they climbed the stairs quickly. Jack unlocked the door and the pair stumbled in, dripping puddles onto the hallway’s floor.

“Bet you wish we bought the car,” Genevieve was still snickering as Jack wrapped a blanket around her shoulders. She then caught sight of her reflection in the sitting room mirror opposite them. Her braid was almost undone with random hairs frizzed and standing at odd ends. The red lipstick was smeared, faded. The thick woollen blanket brought out the crimson of her dress.

“You alright, Ginny?” Jack appeared in the reflection. He too was wrapped in a blanket, his hair mussed up with the remnants of Genevieve’s lipstick coating his lips, smudged slightly on his chin.

“We’re a right pair, aren’t we?” She leant against his shoulder.

“Good,” Jack rested his chin on her head, “You know, this is kinda how we met: soaking wet, sorta dizzy, wrapped in blankets.”

“Yeah, we’re just missing a boat and a bunch of Germans then we’d have a perfect recreation.”

“Don’t forget Farrier. We can swing some paper planes from the lampshade.”

The two moved to the living room, Genevieve undoing her braid after she tossed off her shoes without caring where they landed. She placed each pin on the sideboard, prepared to lose them for they were digging into her scalp. Done within five minutes, she looked up at her boyfriend who’d removed his blanket and was patting down his uniform. He looked so damn good in that uniform.

“Thank you so much for coming with me tonight,” Jack said quietly, smiling at her endearingly.

“I’m glad I did,” Genevieve stepped over to him and raked a hand through his hair, holding the back of his head gently. His lips looked just too enticing for her to resist so she gently kissed them. She wasn’t entire sure how they ended up in her bed but there she was, underneath Jack as they kissed with the same restrained fervour from their reunion. She wasn’t even sure if this was what she wanted yet she continued with him.

Then he pulled away sharply, blinking rapidly and not looking her in the eye.

“Jack, are you alright?” She whispered as she gently touched his face.

“No,” Jack shook his head, swallowing hard, “I’m not.”

Genevieve immediately shuffled up from underneath him, propping herself up, “We don’t have to do anything.”

“No, it’s not that, believe me,” He denied, even as he allowed himself to be sat back down and take a few deep breaths, “I’d love to keep going. I’m just... overwhelmed.”

“I don’t want that if you don’t feel good.” Genevieve stayed against the headboard, giving Jack the space he clearly needed. He nodded without control over his bobbing head. It was as though this was instinct, muscle memory kicking in to try and convince you that he was alright. His breathing went from mildly erratic to steady in a few minutes, exercising the great control he’d gained over himself.

“I’m sorry,” He pressed his palms to his eyes then shook his hands thrice.

“Never be sorry for that. It’s alright, my love,” Genevieve edged over to him, wordlessly asking permission to touch him. She knelt up to him and pulled him into a hug which he returned with relieved attachment. Genevieve was also relieved. She didn’t know if she was ready for sex again.

“Do you want to stay tonight?” She mumbled into his shoulder.

“Please,” Jack replied. He extracted himself away from her embrace and moved over to her chest of drawers. Opening the bottom drawer, he retrieved his spare set of pyjamas left there over a month ago.

Clambering off the bed, Genevieve collected her own pyjamas from behind her pillow and went to her bathroom. She groaned with relief as she stripped down and into her comfy clothes. The supple cotton soothed the red indents left by her bra. Running the tap, she washed off her make-up into a flannel then headed back to her room as sleep started its takeover of her body.

Jack was sat fidgeting with his sleeves, perched on her bed with his back to the door. As Genevieve gently patted his shoulder, he looked up at her, completely innocent to the fact that he still had traces of her marking his chin.

“For the, uh, lipstick,” She held up the flannel. Jack went a colour complementary to the makeup staining his face. Smiling at him, Genevieve wiped away the red as soothingly as possible. Placing it folded on the bedside table, she followed him to lie down on the bed and curled next to him.

“I would’ve much rather spent the evening like this,” He mumbled and, in her almost asleep mind, she thanked the higher power that Jack was still comfortable around her.

Meanwhile, Jack’s thoughts drifted to something else. He spent an unnamed amount of time dwelling on it, feeling it weigh on his chest, push on his stomach, before he made up his mind.

“I gotta tell you something,” He glanced down but Genevieve was sound asleep. He sighed, mostly with relief but a little with dread. No, he didn’t have to face this now. But after this evening, he would have to soon. That thought faded away, replaced by the daydream of his potential future – his potential children - as he too fell to sleep.

AN: The letter Collins is thinking about is the draft one he writes in Chapter 18, just an fyi.

Perma-tag: @tomgcsglasses, @lowdenglynnstyles, @prettyboytgc, @lowdensnose, @kgcurtis30, @carneylowdenwhitehead and @scottishlowden

Complementary tag: @you-are-the-first-dream, @disneydirectioner, @lavidademarimar, @sweetsugarhoneyfics and @from-the-clouds

Jack tag: @londonr26

#collins imagine #collins series #collins dunkirk #collins x oc #jack lowden #jack lowden imagine #jack lowden series #jack lowden x oc #series #complementary #my writing #r: female

28 notes · View notes